Things I Don't Like About Japan

Hey homies,

As I said before, not everything about Japan is shiny and sugar coated, and there are a few things I dislike. Since I'm leaving in a few days (sob sob) I figured I'd start bracing myself for the forthcoming emotional breakdown by discussing some aspects of Japan I dislike.

You can't get a decent cup of black tea anywhere. It's like it doesn't exist. Oh sure, there's Earl Grey and Oolong and Jasmine and all those fancy kinds, but when you're homesick for a nice cuppa? Forget it. Nowhere to be found.

Shopkeepers' voices. It's especially annoying in cafes and restaurants, when you're trying to enjoy your food and every few minutes you hear the abnormally high pitched, nasal "IRRASHAIMASE" (welcome)

The fear of gaijin (foreigners). It's not racism as such, but in a country with a 95% indigenous population, Japanese people are a little freaked out by foreigners; meaning people actively avoid sitting next to me on the bus or handing me flyers and such. I guess it's nice when you want peace and quiet, but it does make you feel a bit lonely.

There are almost no food vending machines. In Ireland you can always find a machine to buy crisps or chocolate - in Japan, not so. There are drink, cigarette, ice-cream, even alcohol vending machines - but I am yet to find one selling food. Though apparently in Akihabara Station there is a banana machine.

The fact that all manners dissolve on a busy train. People will push and shove and never apologise if it means they'll get a seat. And for that matter, Japanese people prefer to sit with an empty space on either side, so it's ridiculously difficult for two or more people to get neighbouring seats on the train.

The fact that, although I say "mou ichidou itte kudasai" (please say it again) in perfect Japanese, many Japanese people take it to mean "SPEAK ENGLISH NOW" and they usually just give up at that point and get someone to translate. Like, I am asking you to repeat yourself because you're speaking absurdly fast, not because I can't speak your language.

The insects. are. HUGE.

The thing I dislike most about Japan is that all of these things really have added to my experience, and I'm gonna miss them. I don't want to go home.

クイーヴァ
Caoimhe

Amusing Happenings #1

What up homies!

Today is gonna be a collection of the weird and wonderful things that have happened to me over the last two weeks. Whether funny, unusual or downright weird, they`re probably not gonna leave my memory for a while...

• This morning, as I made my way to school from the station, I was approached by two little Japanese boys (surely no older than 11) who asked me, in their best English, to "prease shuck my d*ck." Being from a gigantic potato Ireland, I was used to ignoring skangers shouting similar stuff at anything with legs, so I passed by, but their English was better than I thought and I heard "prease answer meeee" from behind me. I weep for humanity...

For some reason I am convinced that Mr Chow had something to do with this foul language.

 

• Today, in school, I was sitting at my desk, waiting for the next class to begin, when I spotted something rather unusual... all the girls were grabbing each others boobs and looking thoughtful. I think they were comparing sizes. I didn`t hear the conversation, and I don`t think I wanted to...

• Last weekend, in Yokohama City, the two American students, myself and our three buddies were standing in the square when we were approached by two gigantic black guys (I`m not being racist, it`s not their colour that was scary but their sheer size) saying in thick American accents "すみません(excuse me)" to my friend Shotaro, whose English is the poorest of the three Buddies. So, Chris, the American with the strongest Japanese, replied "yeah?" (in a fairly polite manner). The bigger guy looked at him, laughed, and said "I wasn`t talking to you, white boy." Then, to Sho, "are you his slave? Damn, they be slavin` Asians too?" and poor Sho had no idea what was going on. "Can I take a picture of your shirt? It looks like my daughter." (it was a T shirt of a clown with a mustache) then he looked at Chris and said, "unless you gon` translate, white boy" and so Chris did translate. Both guys looked amazed and said in unison "DAMN"
• after that, he took his picture, then asked for a picture of the six of us, and he randomly put a bottle cap on Sho`s head, and went to take the picture, and after about 7 seconds of our half-hearted posing, he says "I ain`t taking no picture, man why you let someone put a cap on yo head, gimme dat" then took the bottle cap and walked off. Weeeeeeeird...

Picture unrelated.

 

 

• I discovered a cat cafe in Yokohama City. Despite my allergy to cats, I`m desperate to go. You pay ￥900 (around 7-8e) for 30mins of playing with cats and kittens in a cafe. The best part is I`m not even joking or exaggerating
  

• When it`s raining, dogs wear raincoats
• I saw a drag queen on Japanese TV today on an "Ireland AM"-type show
• My English teacher accidentally called me "Kaiba" instead of "Kuiba" (the closest to Caoimhe in Japanese) and everyone was all like YU GI OH WOOOOOOOO

Pictured: me

 

k lads. I`m off to bed, much love night y`all

xoxo gossip girl

 

クイーヴァ

Caoimhe